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I try to play it off so well.

Do I? If you didn’t read this right now, would you know how miserable I am? I play like everything is fine, and some times, I even start to believe it. Who am I kidding though? I’m so broken. I’m lonely. I’m lost. I’m unlovable. I’m unwantable. I just want someone to love me. No one can love me. Why? Why does no one want me? I just want to be enough for someone, even if it is just my family. I sit here and break down every other day because I realize how unhappy I am. I hate being weak. I hate it. I try my best to be strong. Each day is a struggle, it really is. No one knows though. No one at all.

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I’ll watch your life in pictures, like I used to watch you sleep. & I feel you forgetting like I used to feel you breath. +
I have to accept it.

I have to accept the fact that you don’t love me and you never did. I have to realize no matter how much I try, or want it, you will never want me back. I need to let you go. I need to forget about you. This is just too much. I should never feel this way about someone who doesn’t even remember me.

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I wish you just loved me. You told me you did, but that was long ago. I’m sure you were lying. I still think about you every day. I still think about watching you sleep, feeling you breath. No one ever made me feel the way you do. What did I do? Why do you not even want to speak to me now? I loved you so good. That’s all I wanted to do, was love you. I know you never think of me. I know you never miss me. I’m sure you’ve replaced me. I bet one day you’ll fall in love and be happy, and it won’t be with me.

Just know that you will always have a piece of my heart. You are so special to me, even if I’m not to you. I love you. I will love you forever. I won’t forget about you. I can’t forget about you, no matter how much I try or want to. I don’t know why I can’t let you go, but I just can’t.

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It’s time to face the music, I’m not longer your muse. +
I remember lying there with you.

You wanted to see what was in my eyes. You just wanted to stare at them. You just wanted to look at me. You just wanted to be close, or so I thought. How could I allow myself to be so foolish? How could I allow myself to think you really cared. How? I wish I could take it back, all of it. I wish you knew. I wish you could see through my eyes instead of just looking into them. Maybe it would open up yours…

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